It is 852 am. I am ten blocks from the ocean and I haven’t been able to peacefully walk and breathe in the astringent salty air after being here for over a week. I have, however, been able to walk on these not quite uniform brick streets and feel the squeak of sand in my shoes. Also, I have developed a gait. If I haven’t told you personally, after a week of being in this program I was informed that I wasn’t getting a certain loan. A certain loan that could make or break the whole education. I decided (well, someone else decided really) that the consequences of coming home would be greater than the compromises and consequences of staying here. The monetary struggle is worth the end result (or the absence of the potential result). So, I stay. I stay with vigor. I stay with an “up to here” daily mentality. More and more I am learning to mesh life and art and this  I have been working on for a long time. The night I found out about the loan it was recommended that I work in the studio as if nothing happened. So I did. I am coming to terms with the fact that my expression is my art. My art is so flat when influenced by philosophies alone. They become heavy and more approachable when entwined emotion. Even though the philosophy that I absorb is not logic or equations, it still maintains a sort of flat visual representation… for me anyway. So, the first night that I lost 7000 dollars I mentally sacrificed my place in Chicago. Mentally packed my bags here in Maine. Mentally said goodbye to this program with great sadness. However, I still wished with a process and that process was a string tied from my studio desk all the way to my wrist in bed. It took a skein of red yarn and an entire roll of white string, but it solidified my drive I think.

One of the neat things about living on the coast is the rolling in of the fog. Also, when I finally called my mom and told her about my wishful art she informed me that my father did the same thing as an undergraduate at Parsons, for different reasons of course. I found that interesting, considering that I had not been aware of that previously. Anyway, I wanted to post this process and that is pretty much all. I have no idea what will happen after this summer. I may have to stay in Chicago and work a bunch of jobs to finish off my lease. Or I may end up in Houston TX?! On that note, I leave you to start my studio work for the day.

I decided to give this self portrait to my mom. She brought up the fact that I have never given her an actual piece of art and since I will be gone for a bit, she can look at my gruesome face. So, I have shingles. Who is 29 and gets shingles? Anna Rae. That’s right.

I started packing and am nearly finished. I think it was the last thing I can use as procrastination. Favorite pillow-packed. gauze-packed. aluminum tape-packed. 15 books-packed. Cats-attempted to pack themselves.

Here is a picture of our living room wall. I finally got around to painting it however I wanted. Benefits of owning your own house!

I wanted to use colors from the India palette combined with my cartoony linear drawings.  Phil likes bright colors and I do as well.   This is the room where our fancy dining room table is in and I really enjoy having people over and this be the background.  The circles are actually a gold flake color.  One thing I would like to point out is that the tree is absolutely not a x-mas tree.  It is the pine tree in front of the house.  I repeat; not a Christmas tree.  Not.

When you listen to a song, or have some sort of interaction with a person/place/animal etc. do you ever think about how it is nearly impossible to recreate that moment? And say you did, your reaction would be skewed. I am gaining ever-growing respect for performance art and realizing the static quality of 2 and 3 dimensional art. There are less senses to pull on with 2 and 3 dimensional art and I find that limiting. If i haven’t made it clear as of yet, I find anything limiting to be a nuisance.

I added three new works to the gallery. They are flat, but they are in response to “The House on the Rock”. So, there is that.

In more perfunctory news I am leaving for Maine on June 14th. I have procured the keys to the Chicago apartment, took pictures, and measured for building shelves and lofts.From the bedroom:

PJ has had some employment issues and by that I mean that the company was purchased and the headquarters are in TX. No thank you (we both say((I think)). Regardless, Phil is staying here for a lot of valid reasons and I can’t take everything to the city, so I started an amazon.com wishlist. If anyone is in a strange but giving mood,

Also, as a sortof farewell and/or homage to Indiana I got more tattoo work done on my arm.

This first image is of a Hebrew word: Tzafah ; to gaze in a prophetic sense, root=to float. Mostly it means meditative insight. Also related to “spiritual pressure” as in the spiritual pressure of the “soul” or “mind”. Have a conversation about this with me. It is most welcome.

This is the bluebird. It is for Andrea and I in honor of taking the bluebird out of hiding in Charles Bukowski’s heart. R, N, and I all participated in drawing this. Also, J’s drawings are on there too. So all my friends are here. In my skin.

Also, Johnny Depp is still hot.