i would like to overcome my default reaction that emotions are necessary to disect. up until recently, my interactions with anything and my emotional reactions to those interactions would create this “GREAT IMPACT” and i would be weighed down by it.

softened by it.

the moment passes regardless of my emotional state, regardless of my pinning that moment down like a wiggly little frog on rubber and tin and opening up its insides. the moment passes.

the timing of weather and my planned activities have been working out these days. well, right now at least. i am aware that what i am about to say about fireworks is probably banal. ‘run a carbon test on my jaw… and you’ll find it’s all been said before…’ regardless, i am glad that i decided to stick with the plan of going to fireworks. every single time i have gone, wherever i had been living at the time, i find that i am crooked big smiling and whoaing until the end/the orgasm. it does also cross my mind during each fireworks affair what it symbolizes. i find purdue/lafayette to be pretty diverse as far as ethinc backgrounds go. and i can’t help but look at some of the families that have moved here for study from countries that might possibly be sheltering themselves from the explosions that we are currently imitating in a merry atmosphere. i usually leave the fireworks with guilt and polaroids. here is one of the better ones

and here is my favorite part of our yard.

i am wearing all of his clean clothes.